• Nellie Williams

On friendship


I read somewhere that unfriending someone on Facebook could be construed as bullying. Really, is that the case? Is Facebook the huge great big pendulum of friendship that dictates who is friends with who and for how long? I have been on Facebook for ages, I use it regularly - daily and I can appreciate it gets boring, but you can choose what you read. When I get a friend request I take a lot of things into consideration. Just because we were at school together, or our husbands were, or we are connected by someone we no longer keep in touch with, or we might have children at the same school, or in the same team, or live in the same road - no none of those. If I choose to send or accept a friend request it's because I know you or you're friends with a friend and we catch up from time to time and because I want to know what you are doing with your life. I've recently removed myself from a pile of Facebook groups as I want to have time for my friends, not get embroiled in conversations that are faceless.

Ok I will admit I do gloss over the petitions, the politics and the local news that doesn't mean anything to me, I wont look or share a repulsive photo to stop someone doing something but I will comment when you are stupid enough to believe that a competition with a world cruise and £500 a day spending money whilst a supermarket deliver your shopping free for a year and you can get a new watch or handbag just by sharing and liking. All of those things. I do zoom into photos of your houses and cupboards as I am sure you do to mine (and wonder where eveything is, not looking at anyone in particular Suzie, Pum, Bones). I know I share and overshare but you can unfollow if you like. I choose to share things that I think people might be interested in, I share my new finds and businesses that might appeal to people, I often see my friends have shared them too and I am grateful that they think it's worthy of a share.

But bullying? No I don't think so, it's choice and we are free to be friends with who we choose to be on whatever platform. I will admit that when I am no longer friends with someone on Facebook I think "oh oh", but it's no big thing and if someone doesn't want to keep up with my inane chatter and inconsequential ramblings then so be it. Do I challenge it? No. Does it mean the friendship is over? To me Facebook is a way of keeping in touch with people, but nothing beats picking up the phone or sloshing a bottle of wine into glasses as you chew the fat long into the night.

Is the same thing said for Twitter? It's so different to Facebook and not as personal, unless you're ranting or raging - in which case I don't tend to look. I don't follow people because they're famous, popular, celebrity I follow people because I like what they say and share, and also for recommendations. I do know that some people rage about being unfollowed and have apps that say how many users they've gained or lost - that's not for me. What about Instagram? I follow different people on these platforms and if I enjoy what I read or see then I will like it, if I don't like it I don't comment and if I no longer have a shared interest then I will unfollow. Everyone's lives are busy and fast moving.

There was something on the radio a few days ago about how many friends people actually have and it got me thinking. I know lots of people, I have friends and they are all different and bring variety to my day. Some of them aren't on Social Media, some of them are but it doesn't mean they're not my friends if they're not.

But whether friends are in my address book or phone matters not, they're in my heart and that's where friends should be.

#friends #socialmedia #Twitter #Facebook #Instagram #addressbook

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