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Nellie Knows : June 2019

There’s something so punchy about June, there it is nestled in between May and July with one day less and the longer day to give it some clout. Of course the weather in June is more varied and we experienced this 23 years ago on our wedding day when it was the hottest day on record with searing heat of 30 degrees and a monster storm to end the day. My granny was horrified we had been thinking of getting married in May spouting her old wives tale of “marry in May, rue the day”, she also said “marry in haste, repent in leisure” which was laughable as we had been together for 7 years but Granny knows best. Another thing she said was green was not a wedding colour so I nodded in that dutiful way and promptly ignored her. She said nothing but did tell me I looked short. 

Being short does have its advantages though, like legroom and ceilings. I recently went on a flight and was in an extra legroom seat, well it was wasted on me until I dropped my book and instead of backing out of the row and doing some kind of contortion dance I was able to simply lean forward and pick it up. Low ceilings have never been an issue for me which is just as well as I can normally damage myself stepping out of the shower or on the bottom of a door frame. Also being short is a bonus when you trip over as you don’t often tend to cover a larger area thus attracting unwelcome attention. 

Speaking of unwelcome attention I have had a run of cold callers who are keen to tell me my computer has a virus, my internet has a crackle on the line, there is a new government initiative for loft insulation/replacement windows or they are busy doing market research saying “listen I promise you madam I will never call you again after this”. No Mr Cold Caller you personally may well never call me again but someone else from your dodgy company will do. They are one of the things wrong with modern telecommunications and a real worry to the elderly or vulnerable. I had a phone call from a worried relative and I gave her this advice:

- Don’t answer the phone if you don’t recognise the number. Let it go to answerphone and see what they have to say. 

- If you do answer the phone to an unfamiliar number don’t speak immediately as these scam calls are voice activated and no speaking means they will give up and move onto the next person on the list. 

- Give nothing away, no personal information or details about you, your house, your family - nothing. 

- Those pesky calls about the accident you just had are like other scammers, they’re chancers. Don’t engage. 

- If you have the facility on your phone then block those callers.

- Another thing I told her was not to phone back the number they give, what they do is not clear the line and you’re still connected. 

- Other things I have done is give a ridiculous name, say the person has moved on, say hello and then say nothing. Childish but those calls are irritating. 

Please do remind your older and vulnerable folk not to be trusting and gullible. 

I find cold callers an intrusion “can I just?” as the start to a conversation is guaranteed to rile me but I’ve just returned from a fabulous weekend at Hay Festival and I’m going to be ignoring cold callers and the ironing whilst reading Lara Prior-Palmer’s Rough Magic and Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig. 

One more thing, it’s been 40 weeks since I gave up sugar and the animal mathematics for this week is the cm loss around my waist is the same length as a cat. 


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