Nell Gets Well : Chapter Two
Well it's not as bad as all that
I thought the first day would be awful, then I was waiting for the third day of hell which never came and now I have done a week and actually feel incredibly alright.
On the first day I got up and made myself a mug of hot water with lemon juice instead of coffee, milk and one sugar and got on with my day. I didn't think about food, I suppose because I wasn't opening the fridge to get the milk out I didn't see all my normal foods or hear them crying out to me. That day lunch was hard boiled eggs with plenty of black pepper, supper was chicken and salad. I know I missed breakfast but I wasn't hungry and my Eating Disorders Counsellor had previously said "only eat when you're hungry, don't force yourself to eat".
The hard part
I'm not missing anything, but what I do find hard is walking past the fruit bowl and not picking up a piece of fruit and snacking. Oh and cheese. Also I have come to realise quite how convenient the food is in the house. Take something from the bread bin and either toast it or eat it as is, with butter and marmite. Actually I'm missing marmite.
It's all in the preparation
I am having to really think about what to cook now, instead of asking the others what they want I am having to plan ahead, which isn't really a bad thing as I am really looking at what we eat. For me there is no pasta, rice, potatoes, bread or couscous so that leaves - quinoa which I have tried to like but I can't, so I've been incorporating a lot more swede into my diet. Swede is a good anti fungal vegetable and is much more versatile than mashed swede. I have been peeling, slicing like chips, par boiling and then spraying some oil onto it to make chips which is actually really delicious. I have tried to enjoy aubergine but again that's another thing I am not sure about.
My little circle
I have not told that many people what I am doing, for me this is a personal phase as I try and find my feet. People are quite often cruel about diets but I am not doing this diet to lose weight, hell that would be a bonus but I am doing it to get well, and when I am well I will be able to look at everything clearly and work out a plan.
You can read Chapter Three here